April 09, 2011

After the Attack

It's been about 9 months since the attack.  The horrible, expected, depressing, hard-to-get-through, attack.

While I was cleaning today I decided to thumb through my journal from Ghana, landing on the last page to see where I left off, I read about the attack.  It made me mad.  It made me tear up just a little bit.  But then I thought to myself; wait a minute.  Stop.  Look at yourself.  And I let those tears come.  But those tears didn't come in pain or sadness, they ran down a face that was smiling because we WON.  We were brutally attacked, but we survived and we were victorious over Satan and his stupid, evil, sneaky ways. 

The moment I stepped foot back on American soil after living on the mountain-top in Ghana, and saw my husband's beautiful face (smiling from ear to ear) at the airport, Satan started to wriggle in.  I was SO excited to see him after being away for 10 days.  But Satan knew that if he timed things just right, he could wriggle his way in between us and start attacking our marriage.  And it worked.  For a couple of days, it worked.  I withdrew from my husband, not entirely, but enough to give Satan room to get comfortable sitting in between us.  I was scared, Satan used fear to get at me.  I was scared that if I let myself get too close to my husband, then I would feel 'farther away' from Ghana and the relationships I had built there.  Satan was telling me I couldn't have both.  I couldn't experience the amazing God-Love of the relationships I built in Ghana and have an amazing marriage to my husband.  I knew it was Satan, but I didn't know what to do about it.

So after some praying (LOTS of praying), some guidance from our amazing friends, the Garrets, and a lot of 'faking-it-to-make-it-even-though-I-didn't-feel-it' - it started to work.  I drew nearer to my husband, relying on him for strength and love and knowing that those stupid lies Satan told me were just that - STUPID.  My husband and I grew so much stronger in our marriage through the attack.  We became much more communicative (which is saying a lot, because we communicated pretty well already), we became more in-tune to each others' spiritual realm and well... let's just say we made sure there wasn't any room for Satan to get between us anymore... literally.  :)

And now it's 9 months later and we anxiously await the arrival of our little boy. 

Take that Satan.  He thought he could get between us, but we were victorious!  Thanks to God being on our side, and our amazing friends the Garretts, we ARE the victors.  Satan lost at his attempt to crumble our marriage - we are stronger now than we ever were in our relationship AND we have a precious baby boy that we get to raise up in the light and love of God.  We've got a life that we will raise up to know about Satan and his sneaky ways, and how to defeat him.  We were victorious over Satan, we ARE victorious over Satan, and our little boy will be to - whose name means, "Young Warrior Anointed by God."  There isn't a better name in the world for this little one, and we're sure of it.  For out of those circumstances, came an amazing blessing from God that we will forever remember.  Every time we say his name, or look at his sweet face, we will remember that through everything, God is with us and we are victorious over anything Satan tries to throw at us.