February 27, 2010

Freeze Frame

In our small group last week we watched a Rob Bell film called "Breathe". You should watch -it's only 12 minutes

The essential premise was: what if breathing is saying God's name? But we're so busy, that all we do is breathe shallow breaths from our chest, and we never slow down enough to breathe deep from our diaphragm like we should. (So we're not really saying the name of God with each breath) Did you know that 90% of our energy is supposed to come from our breathing? That's crazy! You know what's worse? Because we usually only breathe shallow-ly (yea, I made that word up) we are only getting 10% of our energy from breathing.
So it got me thinking, not necessarily about my breathing habits, but about slowing down. I've found slowing down is hard, especially when you've just captured a vision from God.
I've always thought that I was going to teach my whole life (and I may still), and when I took my last job, I thought "I'll retire here, this is awesome." It was so great to think that I had it all in control. What's that? Is that God laughing at me up there? I can hear it now, but I couldn't at the time! ;)
When I heard from God last week that I wasn't going to be retiring at my current job, it shook me up a bit (because I wasn't in control, now). Then a couple days later when He revealed my true purpose in life, I got so excited, it was all I could think about! In fact, it's hard for me still to not think about it 24/7. I know and understand this vision isn't going to come about right away - it's going to be years - and I'm totally okay with that, but I'm just so excited, sometimes it's hard to stay focused - to stay in the moment, because I'm constantly thinking to the future.
Thursday, though, I don't know what it was, but for just a few moments while I was teaching math, a stopped thinking about my next move, stopped thinking about the future, and just breathed. I watched the kids having a blast with the game we were playing. I watched the incredible amount of learning and understanding that was going on. I listened to them talking about math, laughing about math, and working with their partners. And it was great. It helped me realize that this is a part of my future. Teaching. It won't be in the same place, and it may not be in the same capacity, but God gave me the gift of teaching, and how rewarding it is to be operating in the gift He has given me. How rewarding it is to slow down and see, that even though I'm anxious and excited about our future plans in Him, that right this moment I'm living and breathing in rhythm with the Awesome Creator.