(warning: this post is real. wide-open. and vulnerable. only read if you can handle knowing the truth behind the spiritual battles that occur on missions!)
Today (mostly this morning) was by far the hardest day spiritually for me. I woke up with a lot of pain in my back/shoulders/neck from sleeping funny, Owen woke up fussy & there wasn't any hot water for a shower (which I could deal with) but that meant Owen had to take an ice-cold bath. He screamed through most of breakfast, and I just lost it. I had to get away so I just lay on my bed and cried. And I let Satan plant lies in me. Likes like, "You're not cut out for this. You can't be a mom and a missionary. It's too hard. You're losing it now - you've only been here a week! There's no way you could live here." I say I let him plant those lies because that's just what I did. I knew it was all Satan. I knew I shouldn't believe those lies. But I did. Because I was tired. Tired of fighting. I wanted to give up the spiritual battle and let him win. So I did.
After breakfast we headed to a secondary (high) school to do an 'assembly' with the kids. Owen was fussy most of the time because it was nap time (one more reason I couldn't be a mom and a missionary). Each of us got up and shared something that was put on our hearts. Bill took Owen at my turn to speak. He really was a trooper today with him. Mary spoke at the end about some topics like abortion, homosexuality and per-mariatal sex - those topics aren't discussed in this culture. It's just swept under the rug. She talked very bluntly about it though and the kids seemed to be impacted by it.
After Owen went down for his nap Marilyn, Aimee and I got o talk and they were really very encouraging to me. We talked through things and I felt a little better.
In the afternoon we headed to a little 'suburb' just outside of Moshi called Njoro to do some street ministry, hand out some toothbrushes and toothpaste that had been donated to our group and to do a 'treasure hunt' A treasure hunt is where you pray and ask God for 'clues' and when you see them you pray for that person. For example, Bill heard/saw 'red shoes' as his clue. Mary saw a Muslim man, sitting under a tree with a walking stick as her clue. I didn't have any 'clues' because I wasn't thinking about it at all that morning - I was too wrapped up in all the lies Satan was feeding me.
Anyway, it's a very poor neighborhood - houses made of mud, sticks or discarded pieces of cardboard/metal. Some with wooden doors, some with ripped sheets for doors, some with no doors. Heaps of trash everywhere. Kids running around barefoot, like the stuff you see on those 'made-to-make-you-feel-bad' commercials about third-world countries.(*please pardon the quality of these photos - I had to be very discreet so 99% of these were taken as I clicked the shutter while my camera was hanging around my neck, like I was just wearing it and not using it.)
Afterward we went to an Indian restaurant -it was really good, Owen loved the buttered chicken and naan. After dinner we started rolling up and sorting t-shirts and pumping up basketballs to get ready for the outreach Saturday.