December 05, 2014

Ignorance {was} Bliss

Two weeks. 14 days. That’s how pregnant I was when I started having symptoms. Which led me to believe I was at least 4 weeks along, if not closer to 6 weeks.

November 13th, 2014

We made the trek to Arusha again to see the OB. She asked why we were there. Facepalm.
Because when I called and tried to talk to you about the results of the blood test the receptionist said to just come. So we came.
We did an ultrasound, and saw our little lentil that day. According to the measurements on the fuzzy ultrasound we were 6 weeks 4 days pregnant.
Torture. Torture I tell you. I was thinking I was closer to 8 weeks.

Happy to know, but torture.
The nausea is non-stop. I haven’t eaten meat in about a month. Very few things are on the ‘okay to eat or think about eating’ list. And I’m only 6 weeks.
Malarchy.

November 16th, 2014
After an amazing day of celebrating the hub’s birthday and doing some ministry yesterday, today I feel like death. Okay, not like death, but not very amazing. I’m suddenly super weak, dizzy and lightheaded. If I’m up doing anything at all for more than 5 minutes I have to sit down. This doesn’t feel normal.
I looked it up. Thank goodness for google and babycenter. Apparently this is normal as early as 7-8 weeks. Which is what I am. Perfect. I didn’t have this symptom with Owen. I don’t like it. I can’t do anything. I take a shower and I have to go lay down because it takes all my energy.

November 18th, 2014
I’m living off of apples, crackers, pb&J and the occasional Oreo. Popcorn recently made an appearance on the list. And yesterday, for the first time in three weeks something here sounded good: chili. So I made a pot of chili. It took me longer than it should have. And by the time I had finished chopping 4 of the 8 tomatoes I needed I was weak and shaky and had to sit down to finish. But I made the chili and it was glorious. The first meat I’d had in three weeks or more, and the first actual meal I’d had since I don’t remember. Then it gave me heartburn. But it tasted good. And it filled me up after just one small bowl. I think my stomach has shrunk with my lack of eating.

November 19th, 2014
When. Will. This. END? Ohmygoodness I’m so tired of being weak and dizzy and nauseated. I’ve missed school for three days. Three days. I’m not a wimp. I go to work even when I’m sick. But this is knocking me on my butt. I literally got out of bed, walked to the kitchen (maybe 35 feet away), put some left over chili in a pot on the stove to heat it up, stirred it a couple of times, put away a handful of clean dishes, got a bowl, put my chili in the bowl and as I was walking back to my room started shaking with fatigue. Are. You. Kidding? I mean, seriously. What is this? Some kind of crazy, that’s for sure. I still have like 5 weeks left in this trimester. I don’t know if I can make it like this much longer.
My daily food intake has been a banana, a strawberry banana smoothie with apple juice, chia seeds and flax, a cup of emergen-C, some crackers, maybe an apple, and maybe some popcorn. Oh, and for the past two days, a bowl of chili. Thinking about most food makes me want to yarf. My poor husband. He has been doing everything. I mean, everything. He’s a rockstar. He takes care of me, of Owen, does dishes, does laundry, cleans up, and all that on top of still going to school and training for a half marathon at the crack of dawn every morning.

And then there’s our three year old. We told him the news this weekend. So yesterday he comes up to me in bed, hands me a banana and says, “I’m sorry you’re not feeling very well momma. I’m excited for the baby to come out so you can feel better and I can see it!” So sweet. This boy is just like his papa. This morning he brought me crackers, an apple and a banana and gave me a hug and told me to “take a good long rest,” as he headed out for school.
I’m so thankful for these amazing boys in my life, but man, this pregnancy is making me never want to be pregnant again. Ugh.