Remembering

I'm not very good at remembering, every little thing.  I think of it often and hold it close to my heart, but then something new happens and the memory of that other thing drifts apart... so I've been keeping track of all the little things-  the ism's, the noises, the actions you do - so I won't forget when you do something new.

I don't want to forget:

The way you said, "MmmHmmm," to mean yes.  And how now you say "Yeah!" instead.

The way you get so excited about new things - you flap your arms straight up and down while you run and it is the make-me-fall-over-smiling-from-ear-to-ear kind of cute.

The concentration face you make when you're trying really hard

Your appreciation for putting things 'back' where they go...

Even if that means us opening the door and letting you outside because you insisted on putting a special rock that the Fairy (at the Renaissance festival) gave you 'back' outside in the mulch where (duh, momma) rocks belong.

The way you stomp your feet and turn around in little circles grunting when you get mad.

The way you purse your lips together and blow like a motorboat when you get hurt and are trying not to cry.

You sincere affection for music and the pure joy that overcomes you when you get to watch or take part in it.

The way everything (and anything) you touch can turn into a guitar if you just hold it sideways and bounce up and down making the 'neeneenee nee nee nee nee' guitar sounds - including pans, your popcorn popper, spoons, and the broom.

The way you ask me to hold you in my arms while we snuggle in the mornings, rather than just laying next to me.  And the way you cuddle in close and nuzzle my neck when I hold you.

The way you love being outside, and how great you are at throwing a ball.

 

The way you ask to watch "Freppy" (Fresh Beat Band) almost every morning, and how you always without fail, want me to dance with you during the song at the end of the show.

The way you let me hold you in the cradle position like a little baby, and let me sing to you each night - and the way you 'request' certain bedtime songs by saying "no" until I start singing the one you want.

The way you love to dance, bouncing up and down, stomping your feet and clapping your hands while you turn in circles.

dancing to the beat from Bill & Amanda on Vimeo.

The way you love your friends and give them hugs when you see them.

The way you always want to run into church when worship starts so you can sing and dance along.

There are so many things, little bear.  So many -ism's and sounds and actions you do that make you YOU.  And with every one I see and all that I remember it makes me love you that much more.  More than I ever imagined.  I don't want to forget.  I always want to remember, that even though you're growing (much too fast) I will have these memories, these pictures, to help me hold you in my heart as my little baby boy - because that, you will always be, and I will never forget that.