November 02, 2011

Untitled (you may want to get your fork)

I was gonna title this post, "Seasons".  But then I didn't.  Because that's cliche.  It's all Christian-y-cliche and it kind of makes me want to gouge my ears out with forks.  But unfortunately, I can't think of a better way to describe life lately... I've (we've) just moved from one season to the next...
You know how they say (they being the general Christian culture) when you're going through a rough time (especially) "Ohh, it's just a season," or "This too shall pass" and then you feel like punching 'them' in the face?  Yea.  Um. Well, I was in that place with my job (yes, again!) not too long ago. 
At first I thought I would love nannying - I mean what better job is there?! I love kids, it meant I got to stay home with Owen, and get paid for it!  Not to mention the way I found the job was totally God working behind the scenes.  Well, after about a month I realized that it was not what I thought it was going to be.  The mom and I totally did not see eye-to-eye when it came to parenting.  Her unrealistic expectations had me in tears at least a handful of times because I was so stressed out and felt so bad for her little one.  I hated waking him up to eat every three hours.  I hated making him eat solid foods when he wasn't developmentally ready for it.  I hated making him eat on the same exact schedule every day (and trying myself to conform to that schedule meant not leaving the house very often).  And I hated that when I brought these things to her she was passive about it and never actually confronted me.  So for the past month I had been job hunting and debating on when to give her my two-week's notice.  Among the hunt I kept thinking, "Why am I here again?  Hating my job, frustrated all the time, stressed beyond belief, and wishing my days away."  I hated, loathed the fact that I was wishing my days away.  I wanted to cherish every moment I had with Owen, not wish them away because watching this other child/trying to meet her expectations stressed me out.
So one night at our small group I threw out a general "Pray for my job situation" prayer request.  The next day I had three jobs on the table.  I'm not joking.  It was crazy.  So I took a tutoring job that I could work on Saturdays (Praise Jesus!) with the option of adding weekdays in once I quit nannying.  Perfect!  I'd give her some notice so she could find someone else and I'd do this.  It was then that I realized this was just another changing of seasons (yes, I'll excuse you while you gouge your eyeballs out at the cliche, told you that you'd need a fork).  At the time, nannying was what I needed - so I could stay home with Owen.  But now that he's older and I'm ready to let him stay with other people, the time has come for me to move on. 
So that's just what I'm doing.  Nannying is officially over and I start my new job this weekend.  It's funny how things worked out - she actually 'quit' me all of a sudden over some silly reasons, but God is still providing for us because I've got paid training this weekend for my new job... and I already had a job when she stopped bringing him, and I'm getting paid in one hour at this job, what I was getting paid for an entire day nannying.  Praise God!  Seriously!  I will be working about 8 hours a week and making more than what I made working 45 hours a week!  I'm SO thankful for this change in seasons... and I can feel the stress released from my body and the peace restored to our home already.  Today was an amazing day of relaxing, cuddling, laughing and playing with Owen and I soaked in every. single. second of it.
I'm thankful to serve a God that takes such good care of me, honestly - this is all Him and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Okay, you can put your fork away now.