Waiting....

It seems as though there's never a time in our lives we haven't been waiting. Waiting to learn to walk so we can go wherever we want. Waiting to grow a little bit taller so we can reach that cookie jar. Waiting to get our license so we can have some freedom. Waiting to hear back from the college we hope to escape to. Waiting for the right person to come along and sweep us off our feet. Waiting for the perfect job. Waiting to start a family. Waiting for the perfect home.
The thing about all that waiting, is that it's all waiting on circumstances.
I really feel like the Lord's been teaching me lately to wait on HIM, not whatever circumstance we may be in.
A prime example happened shortly after we moved to Charlotte. We were living in an adorable 600 sq. foot, 1 bedroom apartment in a charming complex. We were newlyweds, starting fresh in a new town, thousands of miles away from anyone we knew. We loved the adventure of it. Then we heard gunshots coming from the complex behind us. Then we smelled some very potent weed wafting up from the apartment below us. Then our couch broke. In half. Literally. So we found a great deal on some furniture... but it wouldn't fit in our apartment. Seriously. So we lucked out and were able to move for a very small hike in rent, across the hall (of the 3rd floor) to a 2 bedroom that was considerably larger. But then we saw the cockroaches, so kindly left by the previous tenants. And then there were the silvervish. And the house centipedes. (Have you ever seen one of those things?! You need to google it if you haven't!). So we talked about it, and we decided we were tired of paying $850 a month for what we were living in. So we were going to WAIT until we saved up some money and start house hunting. In the mean time, we began looking around - just for fun. Then I got an email from a college friend back in MI saying he was moving down. I jokingly said he could stay with us until he found a place to live. Then he took us up on it! We were planning on letting him live for very, very cheap, just to cover utilities pretty much. In the mean time, Bill and I started to stress out a little bit. We'd have another being living in that small 800 sq. ft. apartment with us. In a kitchen that was, literally so small the fridge door hit the counter across from it. In a time we were trying to save money. We decided to let God take care of the details.
Before our friend even moved in, we had bought a 1200 sq. foot house and moved in.
We waited on GOD.... not our own circumstances. Not our own finances.

Ever since that happened three years ago, I've heard God asking me, "What are you waiting on, Me, or the circumstance?" I admit, I'm a control freak and I often get caught up on waiting for people, money, or my own decisions, rather than God. But here we sit again, and God is asking us, "Are you waiting on Me?"
Bill has worked at the same job for three years. He's won awards that no other person in his position has ever received. He's been praised by his boss, his boss's boss, and the guys he works with. He's applied three times for a promotion. Each time someone has transferred, or something has happened that has nixed him from getting it. Each time we've been disappointed because we really needed the extra money to pay off medical debt, credit card debt, car repairs, etc. Several months ago I gave up control to God. I've given up financial control to Him already - and man how our lives have changed- that's a whole nother blog. But this time, I gave up this promotion to God. As much as I wanted it for Bill - as much as he deserved it, I just gave it up.

Last week Bill got promoted. For the week. The guy he replaced was on vacation and they let Bill step up and take over for the week. We're pretty sure this has NEVER happened. Usually they just get the higher-ups to do it, or send in a temp. But this time they let Bill step up - with all the benefits of having that promotion - for a week. Throughout the week he worked with a higher-up and impressed him many times with his work ethic and the way he was constantly prepared to encounter anything. Wednesday, the guy told him he had an interview on Thursday morning and not to, "worry about anything." The interview went well. They said he'd know "by Monday." Didn't hear anything all day Friday, so he decided to call them in the afternoon and check it out. They said, at this point they were just calling all the guys that didn't get the job... and "you haven't been called yet, so don't worry."

Well, today's Monday. It's almost 1:00 and I'm finding myself struggling to wait on GOD - not the situation. My heart starts thumping just thinking about it. I try so hard to be confident in GOD - that He will do what's best for us. But part of me doesn't want to get my hopes up. But then the other part of me thinks - get your hopes up - this is GOD - he's bigger than this situation could ever be.
Well God, I'm trusting you. I'm giving it to you, as hard as it is for me, I'm giving it to you. You've taken care of us through so many other things, of course you've got our backs on this. This is ALL YOU GOD.

**** UPDATE **** 1/19/10 @ 2:00pm
HE GOT THE PROMOTION! AND the route he wanted near our house!!! :)

A Break-Break and Renewed Sight

No, I'm not stuttering :) It's a mere reflection on what the past 10 days have been for me. A break. A REAL break. No hustling and bustling to get out of town. No deep cleaning or preparing for guests. Just. A. Break.

Man was it nice. It's coming to an end, and for the first time in a while I can say that I've had a relaxing, rejuvenating, sleeping-in, pajama-wearing, staying-up-late, doing whatever I want, BREAK. (Now if only I can get back on schedule to waking up at 5:30am...) :)

The Wednesday before Christmas was the first day of my break and I took full advantage. I slept until 9, wore Pajamas almost all day and had NO agenda. The rest of the break followed suit, though I did start working out again, cleaning house casually and getting things done. The best part of it all was doing it without an agenda.

There's just something about not having to be on a schedule that is so freeing. Wow. I would have never thought I'd [say] that.

All my time off of work has also allowed me to focus more on my husband - man he's amazing. I mean, yea, I'm partial, but c'mon. God rocks my face off with this man He chose for me! Seriously though, it helps me see that I need to remember what's important. Even when I'm working and busy and tired (which is usually the case) I've got to remember to make honoring, loving on, and talking to my husband a priority. I feel so much closer to him (even though he wasn't on vaca. at all) from this past 10 days of being off. There's just such a joy and peace in my heart about where we are in our lives, it's indescribable.

So what do you think? When's the last time you had a day without an agenda? When's the last time you intentionally focused on honoring, loving on or communicating with your spouse? How did it affect you?